Many Americans lie about their sexual history with their partner in fear of judgement
A third of Americans have lied to a significant other about their number of sexual partners, according to new research.
A study of 2,000 Americans who’ve had sex revealed — of those who’ve fibbed their number (32%) — 42% were men and 23% were women.
And results revealed one in five (21%) held back the truth because they thought their partner would judge their real number.
Seventeen percent thought their partner’s number was too different from their real one so they chose a fake number closer to their partner’s.
It’s no wonder so many are hiding their “number,” since it came out as one of the most uncomfortable topics to discuss with a significant other.
The survey, commissioned by Lelo and conducted by OnePoll, found other tricky conversation topics were past sexual experiences (45%) and sexual preferences (33%).
Of those respondents currently in a relationship (75%) two in five have not shared their “number” with their partner.
When asked why they’ve held their number back, almost half (48%) confessed they’d be worried about their partner’s reaction to it.
Results found 61% of men were losing sleep over their partner’s possible reaction to their number while only 40% of women felt the same.
Still, 58% of respondents in a relationship opted to disclose their number to their significant other.
A third of respondents shared their digits within six months and 40% dished in the first three months of the relationship.
Almost a quarter shared their number just because their partner told them theirs.
Twenty-two percent confessed they tell their S.O. everything and one in five disclosed it simply because they were asked.
It’s a real leap of faith to share something so personal with a partner, as 60% think there’s a stigma that makes them hesitant to discuss their sexual preferences and kinks.
And 75% think there’s a negative stigma lingering around women’s sexuality and sexual freedom.
“The fact that 60% of the respondents are hesitant to share their kinks with their partner isn’t as surprising as we’d like to think,” said Sara Kranjčec Jukić, Brand Manager for Lelo. “Unfortunately, society’s general attitude towards sex and pleasure skews our perception of what we can and cannot share with our partners.
“While there is a negative stigma surrounding kink, it’s mostly due to the lack of public discourse about it. Were we to talk more often and more openly about sexual preferences and human sexuality in general, a lot of people would have a lot less difficulty accepting themselves and, in turn, sharing these thoughts with their partners.
“Sharing something like this with a partner can only deepen the intimacy of the relationship.”
The data showed promising results that Americans are slowly becoming more open about their sexuality.
Almost three in four (73%) think conversations about sexuality have come a long way to being more open in the past five years alone.
Respondents named the topics they think are the most important to have a chat with their partner about and sexual preferences was number one with 59%.
Consent was in second place with 53%. Forty-one percent want to open up about what their partner can do better in bed but only 34% want to hear constructive feedback about their own skills in the sack.
“Open communication is the only effective way to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sexual and romantic relationship, everything else is just a temporary fix,” added Sara Kranjčec Jukić. “It’s important to remember that your partner is not a mind reader and unless you voice your needs, some of them will remain unfulfilled to both partners’ dissatisfaction.”
“But before all of that, the most important thing is to take the time to know and accept yourself. With 59% of the respondents putting sexual preferences as an important topic to speak to their partners about, I’d say we’re on the right track. I just wish we would get there sooner.”
“This is why LELO takes time to educate everyone who will listen. Our sexual well-being is an important part of our lives and it shouldn’t be disregarded because it’s a ‘touchy’ subject.”
TOP UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS TOPICS WITH ROMANTIC PARTNERS
Number of sexual partners 45%
Past sexual experiences 45%
Sexual preferences 33%
What they can do better in bed 27%
TOP TOPICS TO IMPORTANT DISCUSS WITH PARTNERS
Sexual preferences 59%
What they can do better in bed 41%
What I can do better in bed 34%
Number of partners 31%
Previous sexual preferences 30%
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